Feeling Blue
Ok, for starters, let me first say thanks to Chesney Girl, Veronica and Greta for "showing me the love" after my last post. I do have the blues and I don't really know where to start or how to get out of them. I've taken more Xanex in the past few days then I think is probably consider a "safe dose". (Ok, not seriously, but you know). Here's why:
For starters, the hubs and I had our once every three to four months money argument on Friday night. Basically, he thinks I spend too much, and yeah, I'll admit it, I'm the spender of the family, he's the penny pincher. But what he questions is not the stuff that I buy that I don't need (you know, new flip flops or other crap I "need") it's the stuff I buy that we actually need that gets him. This fight started over a $175.00 Wal Mart tab. Well let's see, I bought his $15.00 razors, his new underwear and basic necessities that our house needs in order to function normally (you know, groceries, toilet paper) and I hadn't been in a couple of weeks. I do usually try to go every week, but damn, we've been gone a lot lately and I just haven't had the freaking time! HOW DARE I? We shouldn't need food! Anyway, the fight itself is not this issue, or maybe it is. Usually after this argument we kiss and make up and all is good (basically he realizes that well you know maybe we do need groceries). Not this time. He pouted and sulked and basically did not say 2 words to me afterwards on Friday night (I went to bed pissed off...which we never do) and pretty much nothing on Saturday until we met up with our friends to go to the lake. At the lake everything was great, so I (stupid me) figured that he was finally through being an ass and that things were good with us. NOPE. When we got home on Sunday he was back to his moody ass self, not saying anything to me unless it was required and then short sentences. WTF? I thought we were ok now? Now I know, I probably should have said something to him, but I was tired and not in the mood for an argument, especially not one we had already had and one that I thought was already resolved. Anyway, back to Sunday. We get home from the lake and he and the ladybug lay down to take a nap because he wasn't feeling well (well I didn't tell him to drink like a fucking fish on Saturday and then vomit, but you know it's still somehow someway my freaking fault). No biggie. I can get some stuff done in peace and quiet. So I do some laundry, tidy up the house and wash our sheets and comforters because I found a flea on the Mollie dog and I.HATE.FLEAS so the whole house had to be fumigated. So while they are napping freely I'm working my ass off. We cook steaks and twice baked potatoes for supper (at his request I might add, I was going to go with plain ol baked ones, but he asked so I obliged, without a thank you) and then who cleans up the kitchen? Um, well see that would be me. And then, I ask him to bathe the ladybug but it seems he's too wrapped up in the women's softball college world series (HUH? how exciting) to get up off his lazy ass and do it, so guess what, I did it. Me, miss "I've been busting my ass" today. All the while his moodiness is getting worse. Again, I go to bed pissed off. Monday I am off, he leaves for work with a quick peck on my cheek because I am awake because my body forgot that I took the day off and got up at normal time. No worries. I sat on the porch swing with my coke and smokes and read some of my trashy summer novel. It was nice. Still moody husband though. He gets home last night late (like 10:00) because he had a softball game at 8:30 and well we live so far out coming home would have been stupid (ok, I'm trying to rationalize his behavior, he could have come home, but that would have meant contact with me and possibly having to do something around here) and I was asleep. I got up early this morning (because now, having gone to bed 3 straight nights this pissed off I can no longer sleep) and was getting dressed when he left. Crappy ass kiss on the cheek again. No conversation. ZERO. We've said, I swear to GAWD, 8 words to each other total since Sunday. EIGHT WORDS. That's it. When what i want to say to him is to KISS MY ASS. So tonight, he's got another softball game, but this one is earlier. I'm hoping to get the ladybug in bed and then be waiting on him when he gets home. I simply cannot handle this shit anymore. I'm so confused and shit, lonely. This is not like us. I wish I knew what his issue was. The thing is, he does this every so often. It's like his PMS or something. But instead of being monthly, it's like every 4 months, therefore you have a whole lot of shit to put up with. I just don't get it anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of his shit. I'm tired of the way he's treating me (and it's only been like what 4 days?). But I'm tired. I swear I think he looks right through me and I don't get it. I'm wondering what the fuck else is going on with him, but you know, clamming up and all he's not telling me. SHIT.
Yeah, just SHIT. Therefore I feel like SHIT. And I'm not even pissed anymore. I'm tired.
And just so you know, the reason I've let it go on this long with me feeling this way is because I've apologized after the money fight. It's his turn. And I'm so damn stubborn that I'll keep it this way until it's just driving me crazy and eating away at me (or until he apologizes FIRST) before I go and be the one that caves in. I know, it's wrong. It's a selfish way to be, but yeah, I'm bitchy like that.
For starters, the hubs and I had our once every three to four months money argument on Friday night. Basically, he thinks I spend too much, and yeah, I'll admit it, I'm the spender of the family, he's the penny pincher. But what he questions is not the stuff that I buy that I don't need (you know, new flip flops or other crap I "need") it's the stuff I buy that we actually need that gets him. This fight started over a $175.00 Wal Mart tab. Well let's see, I bought his $15.00 razors, his new underwear and basic necessities that our house needs in order to function normally (you know, groceries, toilet paper) and I hadn't been in a couple of weeks. I do usually try to go every week, but damn, we've been gone a lot lately and I just haven't had the freaking time! HOW DARE I? We shouldn't need food! Anyway, the fight itself is not this issue, or maybe it is. Usually after this argument we kiss and make up and all is good (basically he realizes that well you know maybe we do need groceries). Not this time. He pouted and sulked and basically did not say 2 words to me afterwards on Friday night (I went to bed pissed off...which we never do) and pretty much nothing on Saturday until we met up with our friends to go to the lake. At the lake everything was great, so I (stupid me) figured that he was finally through being an ass and that things were good with us. NOPE. When we got home on Sunday he was back to his moody ass self, not saying anything to me unless it was required and then short sentences. WTF? I thought we were ok now? Now I know, I probably should have said something to him, but I was tired and not in the mood for an argument, especially not one we had already had and one that I thought was already resolved. Anyway, back to Sunday. We get home from the lake and he and the ladybug lay down to take a nap because he wasn't feeling well (well I didn't tell him to drink like a fucking fish on Saturday and then vomit, but you know it's still somehow someway my freaking fault). No biggie. I can get some stuff done in peace and quiet. So I do some laundry, tidy up the house and wash our sheets and comforters because I found a flea on the Mollie dog and I.HATE.FLEAS so the whole house had to be fumigated. So while they are napping freely I'm working my ass off. We cook steaks and twice baked potatoes for supper (at his request I might add, I was going to go with plain ol baked ones, but he asked so I obliged, without a thank you) and then who cleans up the kitchen? Um, well see that would be me. And then, I ask him to bathe the ladybug but it seems he's too wrapped up in the women's softball college world series (HUH? how exciting) to get up off his lazy ass and do it, so guess what, I did it. Me, miss "I've been busting my ass" today. All the while his moodiness is getting worse. Again, I go to bed pissed off. Monday I am off, he leaves for work with a quick peck on my cheek because I am awake because my body forgot that I took the day off and got up at normal time. No worries. I sat on the porch swing with my coke and smokes and read some of my trashy summer novel. It was nice. Still moody husband though. He gets home last night late (like 10:00) because he had a softball game at 8:30 and well we live so far out coming home would have been stupid (ok, I'm trying to rationalize his behavior, he could have come home, but that would have meant contact with me and possibly having to do something around here) and I was asleep. I got up early this morning (because now, having gone to bed 3 straight nights this pissed off I can no longer sleep) and was getting dressed when he left. Crappy ass kiss on the cheek again. No conversation. ZERO. We've said, I swear to GAWD, 8 words to each other total since Sunday. EIGHT WORDS. That's it. When what i want to say to him is to KISS MY ASS. So tonight, he's got another softball game, but this one is earlier. I'm hoping to get the ladybug in bed and then be waiting on him when he gets home. I simply cannot handle this shit anymore. I'm so confused and shit, lonely. This is not like us. I wish I knew what his issue was. The thing is, he does this every so often. It's like his PMS or something. But instead of being monthly, it's like every 4 months, therefore you have a whole lot of shit to put up with. I just don't get it anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of his shit. I'm tired of the way he's treating me (and it's only been like what 4 days?). But I'm tired. I swear I think he looks right through me and I don't get it. I'm wondering what the fuck else is going on with him, but you know, clamming up and all he's not telling me. SHIT.
Yeah, just SHIT. Therefore I feel like SHIT. And I'm not even pissed anymore. I'm tired.
And just so you know, the reason I've let it go on this long with me feeling this way is because I've apologized after the money fight. It's his turn. And I'm so damn stubborn that I'll keep it this way until it's just driving me crazy and eating away at me (or until he apologizes FIRST) before I go and be the one that caves in. I know, it's wrong. It's a selfish way to be, but yeah, I'm bitchy like that.
posted by Alli's Mom at 3:05 PM
4 Comments:
You are lucky that at least he is a penny pincher, Dan is NOT, he is bad when it comes to money, as am I AND when we get in a crunch (like right now) it all of a sudden becomes my fault, why didn’t I manage it better? Ass munch.
Anyway, you are what we are talking about right now…….I would definitely say he is going thru some sort of PMS thing. Dan gets this way sometimes and won’t back down, and I don’t like to back down so it usually gets bad because I have a big mouth with him when he gets that way. From what I can see, you are trying. I say sit him down and talk to him, then at least you tried. Put your feelings all out on the table and see what he has to say. I hope it all works out for you……
To cheer you up, I changed my video on my blog for you, come take a peek.
Much love darling!!
V
Girl i am the same exact way..i thought there for a minute you were in my house...i know how ya feel...this is the thing...let him wipe his ass with his hand and when he bitches tell him you were trying to conserve money since he thinks you spend to much or let his ass go to bed hungry..and girl believe me i have went on strike and will not hesitate to do it again. Let them freaking dishes pile up to the ceiling.... see i am the total opposite...I WILL NOT back down to save my soul...i stand up for what i think is right and that is that. HIS ASS CAN APOLOGIZE!!
I sometimes wonder how i ever got married cause girl my hubby puts up with some serious shit from me because i am very selfish...V.E.R.Y selfish...it's all about me and i will be quick to tell ya that too!!
Cheer up...don't let him get ya down like that...we are strong women...
Can you tell I am Pro Woman?
bwhahahaha
xoxoxoxoxox
Don't you love Greta!!!! She rocks!!!!!! Let him wipes with his hand! CLASSIC!!
Oh this is so my house right now. Is there something funky going on with the aligning of the planets or something.
Hubby takes my car to work cause its cheaper on gas - leaves me with the big ass truck. I park it too close to the wall (ok it was touching the wall but no dents no scratches nothing) and he walks in and starts in on me.
He later has the nerve to ask me if I am still mad....I told him Yes because he has yet to apologize to me for his behavior - so after that - we haven't said much to each other....MEN!
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